For Isamu

[suomi_thunder]

After this

It was a few days after the New Year before Aarne could manage to get to visit. He was newly engaged and had spent the week between Christmas and New Years with Joe. He also had an excuse. Since Isamu never showed up at the Christmas party, Aarne had gifts that were never picked up. One was a very old book from Vars on old Norse language and folklore, the others were smaller things and sweets. He was worried but knocked on the door anyway. Everyone had a hard time some times.

Comments

[suomi_thunder]

Aarne's expression darkened. "You should thank the fucking spirits for the life that lets you do those calculations and didn't spend your fucking childhood being beaten until your bones broke and your teenage years fighting to stay conscious while someone tried to beat you unconscious so they could give you to friends as a sex doll for political favors. Not everyone has been as fortunate as you have been and it's bullshit that you act like you have nothing."

It's clear that Isamu's words hit a sore spot in Aarne. As someone who also spent time being abused, though not by his family, he had a protective streak for the younger Dane's situation. Aarne shook his head.

"You do know almost everyone sees you as the more successful of the two of you? You're seen as the smart one, the one that finished everything, the one that demands everyone acknowledge the value of your intellect. Do you ever stop to think what it might be like living around that constantly?" Aarne sighed and felt the upset fading. His voice and expression softened and calmed. "That's the point of being alive, to figure out how to live. No one has it figured out. If we did, no one would need spirits to guide them, or gods, or questions to answer with science."

Aarne shook his head. "You're still making all this shit up without asking especially when the past shows you that Minoru chooses being with you over everyone else. Go to the apartment and look at the brothers with boyfriends. They all move out to be with their partners. Minoru hasn't but you're still standing here acting like you aren't important to him. From here it all sounds dumb as shit."

[itmeanscourage]

Aarne’s reaction was both horrific and oddly specific. Unfortunately, Isamu couldn’t imagine how it was applicable, beyond the ‘be grateful for what you have’ moral. Reacting to that would be about as useful (and as safe) as discussing scientific experiments with an Anthean, so he focused on the rhetorical questions instead.

“It is good for me, then, that they have not deduced otherwise.” He huffed. “I can only imagine how much their opinion may suffer when they all realize that I am the smart one, but my success has been largely, if not entirely, conditional. And that between us, Minoru is the only one who possesses the ability to land on his own two feet when the rug is pulled out from under him. Both literally and metaphorically.”

He sighed. “The past has also proven that Minoru does not exactly follow, or even truly comprehend, societal norms where relationships are concerned. He is a small asexual corner of a very sexual love dodecahedron. I can not imagine him finding it appealing to move in with, say, Ziggy and Mick. Truth be told no one in our family never expected him to have a romantic relationship at all.”

In other words, that last bit is irrelevant too. Or at least refutable.

[suomi_thunder]

Aarne listened but he was through with Isamu's circling around to make everything fit his preconceived notions of what was happening.

"Isamu, stop. Stop making up bullshit facts about your brother and other people to fit your own fantasies that allow you to continue to have this tantrum over what amounts to made up data."

The Finn was frustrated. "I never thought you would be making up data to suit yourself." Aarne shook his head. "You're someone I trust but right now you are acting like a fool that needs a good kick in the ass with a boot."

Aarne let out a heavy breath. "You know how I know this is made up bullshit? Because I talked to your brother and he doesn't have any fucking idea why you're treating him like a curt asshole right now."

[itmeanscourage]

Truth be told, Isamu probably did need a good kick in the ass with a boot. These were all things he’d told himself long enough and strongly enough that he was convinced they were true.

“I am not making up data! Do not ever accuse me of making up data!”

But that argument ended when Aarne provided some very strong evidence to the contrary.

“How on earth does he NOT?!”

[suomi_thunder]

Aarne wasn't going to take this, not from a friend who needed a serious wake up call before the caused serious family turmoil.

"I'm not accusing you. I'm telling you that you are making shit up. I know you are because I went and fucking found the data while you sat here and obsessed over some fantasy land."

Aarne was trying not to get too stirred up. "Well, maybe if you said more than two words at a time to him?" Aarne wasn't upset but that desire to just kick Isamu in the ass was getting intrusive. "Tell you the truth, when someone goes from answering everything with a ten minute monologue of details to one and two word answers, it makes people feel like they're angry with them, hate them or just don't want to talk to them at all. He doesn't know because you haven't told him a damned thing."

[itmeanscourage]

“…I do not want to talk about this.”

His mind drifted back to encounters he’d had with an angel shortly after he first arrived in the Nexus, to encounters he’d had with Ziggy about his scientific experiments, to the fact that his research grant with IRIS would be coming to an end soon.

“Allow me to clarify the prior statement, I do not want to talk about this with Minoru.”

[suomi_thunder]

"Fine. You don't have to but you don't get to be a surly little bitch to everyone else because you don't feel like doing something. That is unfair to go around saying other people are the bad guy because you don't want an answer to a question you've made up a fake answer to." Aarne was at the point where he felt like he was beating his head on the wall, that wall being Isamu's pride or ego.

Aarne took the bag of gifts he was still holding and shoved it into Isamu's chest. "Here these are from the rest of the people that care about you but you couldn't be bothered to talk to." Aarne was a little aggrovated. "I came here partially to make sure you got these after everyone started asking where you were at Yule."

[itmeanscourage]

His pride/ego is a very strong wall, sturdily built and thoroughly reinforced. (He’s probably made the hypothetical calculations for that too.) it probably has a bookshelf on it. Or twelve…

Not expecting it, he hit the back of the couch when Aarne pushed the gifts into his chest.

“Oh.” He looked down at the bag. “… thank you. Um… Feel free to take as many omamori as you like, for the others, in return.”

[suomi_thunder]

Aarne reached to catch Isamu as he fell back, glad that the couch was there.

"I don't want the omamori. I wanted you there for the holidays but you were too busy thinking about yourself." There was the hurt and it came out because of so many reasons. "You have gifts in there from people you don't even know because I couldn't introduce you to them."

Aarne stepped away to absently look through the omamori and give himself a break to breathe so he didn't say anything he didn't mean. He did mean what he had just said. Despite all of this he did consider Isamu, and Minoru, good friends, close to family. The fact that one of his close friends wasn't there on an important holiday, when he could share his engagement hurt too.

[itmeanscourage]

The silence stretched uncomfortably. Eventually, Isamu asked, “Did I miss anything of significant importance?”

If there was ever evidence that the brothers hadn’t been talking lately, even on their so-called ‘family trip’ to Japan, that was it.

[suomi_thunder]

Aarne shrugged. "I don't know what the people who sent those gifts might have said."

The Finn felt the weight of what he was about to say but stepped away to plop down on the couch beside Isamu, dejected. "One of my good friends missed our traditional drink to celebrate this..."

Aarne looked over at Isamu and held up his hand with the silver antler and blue stone ring. "If my family had been here they would consider your absence a bad omen."

Aarne did too but not about his engagement. Luckily, Joe didn't have any of these superstitions.