"I haven't slept with anyone else which is a big deal. Before Joe I'd sometimes be with several people in a day." Aarne still isn't sure how he feels about the change yet. In some ways he missed the excitement of all the new people constantly but that was traded for a feeling of safety and a different kind of excitement that came from starting to commit to someone. "He saw me kiss a few people once but we talked it out, so I think it is ok now. I'm just worried that I'm going to fuck it all up."
Aarne shrugs at Ravage's comment, though he is glad for the encouragement. "It's scary. I've never been this happy before and it is so terrifying I feel like hiding sometimes."
Falling in love for the first time this late in life had brought up a lot of confused feelings. Maybe he had loved in the past but it was never long or it didn't stay positive long enough to remember. Several months in a relationship Aarne was starting to panic over it inside.
"Human culture is less uniform." And that was the problematic part. "I could be in one country and accepted and the next tour date I'm in a place where walking outside as myself might get me arrested or killed. I've been places where who I am is a crime or reason to be evaluated for a psyche ward. I worry about Joe sometimes. He's not used to how dangerous it can be for me, and now him too."
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2021-07-03 02:47 am (UTC)Aarne shrugs at Ravage's comment, though he is glad for the encouragement. "It's scary. I've never been this happy before and it is so terrifying I feel like hiding sometimes."
Falling in love for the first time this late in life had brought up a lot of confused feelings. Maybe he had loved in the past but it was never long or it didn't stay positive long enough to remember. Several months in a relationship Aarne was starting to panic over it inside.
"Human culture is less uniform." And that was the problematic part. "I could be in one country and accepted and the next tour date I'm in a place where walking outside as myself might get me arrested or killed. I've been places where who I am is a crime or reason to be evaluated for a psyche ward. I worry about Joe sometimes. He's not used to how dangerous it can be for me, and now him too."